Kaizoku no Blin/4
O~SA~KO~NA~!! ---- Gourd: Really, another one of these shitty segments again?! Rune: Ohhh Ehhmmmmm.... GEEEEEEEE!!! YOU FRICKING SWORE!! AMMA CALL MAINSTREAM MEDIA POLICE!! KYAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!! Rune collapses afterwards. But before that, she played this track: VCR: Five Fortnite Youtubers who've Sworn! Gourd: This is Wikia, you retarded bree! We're not Youtubers! Gourd (shrugging to the audience): Anyone else having a mental breakdown? Believe it or not, we're not the other series (One Piece Fanon Wiki diss) that worries too much about swearing. The Seinen series continues. Make sure to watch ''Kaizoku no Blin in a well lit room or you'll end up being an ossan!'' Gourd: Well then, intro! ---- Screw the Wikia's VisualEditor is the fourth episode of the Kaizoku no Blin fan fiction series. Intro music: Lucie, Too - Lucky ---- Jonathan notices Johanne is playing Rotting Simulator, which is a blatant ripoff of Farming Simulator. Jonathan: What the hell, Johanne? You're playing some sort of a farming game in the middle of a battle? Baltazar: So her name's Johanna? I'm gonna bring this nice girl into the altar. Jonathan: It's spelled Jo-han-ne. WITH AN E. Baltazar: But you're pronouncing it Jo-han-na. It's gonna be Johanna according to me. Jonathan: Chinga tú ma-let's just fight, shall we? Baltazar: Bring it on! Jonathan: Who's gonna strike first? Baltazar: If anyone's gonna announce who attacks first, the end result is somehow. Are you shitting me, man? Jonathan: Que? It definitely ain't me! Baltazar: No you attack first! Jonathan: NO U Baltazar: NO U ---- After a round of insults, Baltazar attacks using his sword while Jonathan's guard is down. Baltazar: רק צוחק (Rak tsokheq.) Jonathan: So... you... can... He... brew. Jonathan drops to the ground. Baltazar now strangles Johanne. Johanne: JONATHAN!! Baltazar: So where were we? Johanne: Jonathan! Please help me! A figure stands out on Baltazar's back. Jonathan (tapping Baltazar's shoulder): BOO. Jonathan punches Baltazar in the head twice. Jonathan: Let me teach you some Español. Two words. Jonathan (first punch): ES. Jonathan (second punch): BROMA. Baltazar: How... come... you... understood... what... I'm... sayin? Jonathan: Don't underestimate what a boy in glasses can do. It's a shame coming from someone who's exactly like you. I might not understood what you said, but tells me "you're kidding", right? Now I'll play you the sound of my people as you fall asleep. ---- Baltazar falls down to the ground, seemingly knocked out. Johanne: YOU DID IT! Jonathan: Nope. Johanne: He's lying down there, jackass! Does it really require any goddamn evidence to tell you that-? Jonathan (covering Johanne's mouth): I know, miss number two. Johanne: Jonathan, are you really assuring for yourself that you're the captain? Jonathan: Yeah, why? Johanne: I'm getting the more attention here, duuhhh... Jonathan: At least I'm emotionally stable. Johanne: How sure are you? You freaked out after eating the fruit, right? Jonathan: You're probably hearing your own voice. I was totally fine. In fact, you're the one who freaked out. Baltazar hits again while Jonathan is out of his guard. ---- Jonathan: Really? You're gonna hit me like that again? Baltazar: You're not the only one who ate some devil fruit. This here is the real deal. Jonathan: So can you swim? Baltazar: Of course! Jonathan: How come? You're not supposed to be able to swim. In fact, even showering should make you feel sick. Baltazar: No I can't. Johanne: Can't you just make up your mind, you shitty bastard?! Baltazar: No cursing in front of the kids. Johanne '''(sees kids): Shut the fuck up. Do you think these kids are what innocence looks like? And how come they're here? This is supposed to be an R-18 manga. '''Baltazar: Speak Japanese. Johanne: Fine then. CERO D. Baltazar: Now, we're talking. ---- Baltazar: I ate... the Shibo Shibo no Mi. How does it work? It compresses any attack that it enters my body to the point I can just simply avoid them like it's nothing. Jonathan: How come you can still get knocked down? Baltazar: I somehow needed to improve my dodging a bit. I'm only trained with ranged attacks so far. Johanne and the others facepalm. Johanne: You're the silliest villain I've ever seen so far. Jonathan: Just stop pretending you're a genius. I bet you can't even read. Baltazar: STFU! Just fight me! Jonathan: Why? Am I supposed to get any rewards from this? Baltazar: I can still beat you with your noob skills on Devil Fruit Manipulation! I mean you just ate that a few hours ago! Jonathan: Then attack me! Stop chatting. ---- The two charged to each other's direction, and their clash produced a small explosion. From smoke and rubble arose a silhouette. The other people on the scene were startled. Johanne: Jon, is that you? Baltazar's female lackey: BOSS? BOSS?! BOOO-SU!!! Jonathan '''(coughs): I need my cough medicine. '''Johanne: JONATHAN! Johanne hugs Jonathan for the first time since the end of the Redrum Island Arc. Hansuke: Their captain's beaten. What do we do? Johanne: I just want to sure it's over first. For now, we have to beat them first. ---- Hansuke and Johanne fends off everyone in Baltazar's crew. Moufassa joins the action. Jonathan: I. HATE. POORLY. WRITTEN. JOKES. Baltazar: Just kill me! Finish me now. I have nothing else to be proud of. Not even my face! Jonathan: That ain't my job. Right, Edd? ---- Marine Captain Edd Solace arrives. Edd Solace was the childhood bully of Jonathan back in Tendokyo. Edd: How come you know me? Jonathan tries to show some proofs from their childhood. Edd: YOU! Jonathan: No, YOU. You're my bully, right? Edd: How come you much taller than me?! I ain't forgivin' you for this! Jonathan shrugs. Edd: But fine, I'm gonna let you get away this time. But the next time we meet, you're gonna GOOOO DEEAAWWWNNN!! Jonathan: Happy to be of service. Edd: GITTAWTAHERE!! ---- Jonathan, Johanne and Hansuke leave. Moufassa '''(gasps): Wait! I wanna join you! You say you have a crew right? You know I have ambitions too! Whaddyasay? '''Hansuke: Really? What's it then? Here is a brief flashback of events that were not included in the previous chapter because of episodic constraints. Johanne: We have this idea of joining a crew. But first, you've gotta have to establish something, like a mission statement. Something like that. Moufassa: So you're pirates then, how come are you? Jonathan: We're just new. Moufassa: So you can talk? I thought you were mute the whole time! Jonathan '''(facepalms): Good lord. '''Moufassa: I have a dream then. Johanne: What is it? Can you tell me about it? Moufassa: I know it might sound crazy that's why I'm not giving it now. Hansuke: Come on, you lousy bastard! Every dreams we said are already ridiculous! ---- Back to the present. Moufassa: I want to learn an art. Hansuke: An art?! What are you, a girl? Moufassa: No! A martial art. It's called Girikido. It's locked in a hidden temple in the New World. If you can take me there, Johanne: This is not a 100% assurance, but in this crew... Jonathan: We're gonna achieve these goals together, and no one gets behind! Johanne: Are you sure you want this position? If I were you, you would've backed out by now. I mean, you might not even come back alive! Moufassa: I don't give a shit. I've just want to do something right with my life, and joining this crew is what I was told to prove my self worth. Johanne: By whom? Moufassa: The voices inside my head. Johanne '''(shrugging): Ahmmm... please explain I guess? '''Moufassa: They're the spirits of my ancestors. Johanne: So they're like ghosts? Moufassa: They're more than mere ghosts. Ghosts only wanted terro- Jonathan (interrupts Moufassa): Yeah, yeah. Enough of this ghost shit. Now SKEDADDLE OR GET LOST!!! Moufassa '''(in tears): Sure thing... captain. '''Jonathan: Just call us by our first names. I don't think I'm older than you. Johanne: I'm also your captain too, but again, like what Jonathan said. Moufassa: THANKS! ---- And so, Baltazar Le Quint and his crew were defeated and brought to the Marines 144th Base, led by Captain Edd. Jonathan and Johanne adds Moufassa as their navigator after noting his skills in cartography, being able to carve terrain maps out of of maps. This effectively ends the Big Man Arc. Meanwhile in the "real world", an explosion seems to interrupt the studio where the series holds its segments. Gourd: RUNE-CHAAAAAAAAAANNNN!!! ---- << Previous | Next >> Site navigation Category:Chapters Category:Kaizoku no Blin